The Way We Were: Joe and Joni Bifano
When it comes to true love, the third time is the charm, the saying goes. And that’s how it was for Joseph James Bifano. As a young man working in his hometown of Sheboygan, Wis., on the second floor of J. C. Penney in the boys’ department, there were at least two occasions when his attention was distracted by the young girl who would eventually become his wife.
“I saw this beautiful girl walking hand-in-hand with her mother. It was love at first sight,” he said. But Joni was too young at that time, so nothing ever came of those encounters. Joe simply admired the girl from afar. She never noticed him.
As a drummer and the leader of a band that played nightly performances at The Scoreboard, one particular Friday night in May 1950, just before playing the last number of the evening, Joe noticed two female faces glancing through the club’s window. One he knew as Donna Lugg. The second, much to Joe’s pleasant surprise, was a face he recognized as the little girl who shopped at Penney’s with her mother. But now, she was all grown up. He learned for the first time her name, Joan Rose Schnorr, who was known as Joni. She lived only three miles away from Sheboygan, in Kohler, home to one of the world’s largest foundries that makes bathtubs and toilets. Her father owned a hardware store across from that plant.
The girls had somehow missed their ride home and needed a lift. Joe immediately offered to rescue them. He just needed five minutes to play his last song; so, they waited for him. Of course, he dropped off Donna at her home first so that he could spend some alone time with Joni. “I poured my heart out to her that night,” Joe said.
Joni told Joe how her mother had passed away just months before and that her last wish was that Joni marry a Catholic boy. Joe admitted to being “on the loose” but still a Catholic. However, his hopes were almost dashed when Joni told him that she was heading to Milwaukee the following morning and committing to take vows to become a nun.
Joni did go to Milwaukee, but she came back again, confused. The two spoke first to Joni’s hometown priest who expressed disappointment at the possibility that Joni’s might change her mind. Then, Joni and Joe spoke with Joe’s hometown priest who told Joni, “This boy needs you.” That became Joni’s deciding factor.
In June, less than a month later, Joe proposed to Joni on a walk home to her house after attending a local high school graduation ceremony. “When do you want to get married?” Joni asked him. “What’s tomorrow?” Joe replied. Joni said that was too soon, and she chose the month of October. Joe agreed. Joni had another request, a big family.
They were married on October 14, 1950, just five months after their first official meeting. “A love affair became a love affair,” Joe said. Over the course of 21 years, they had six children—four girls and two boys. According to Joe, Joni had wanted 12. “Okay, if I last that long,” Joe told her. He said he would have done anything for her just so that she would be his.
Joe continued with his band, and after their fourth child was born, Joni joined his group as the lead vocalist. “I loved to be home with my children, but I also loved to sing,” Joni said. So, she got used to babysitters. Joni had been a singer since she was four years old. Her mother would tell of a performance in a big hall before a large crowd, but Joni had no recollection of that as her start. “My momma was always encouraging me,” she said.
The Bifano’s band became known as Joe and Joni Live. They usually had two other members with them on bass and piano. They entertained nightly. For 17 years, they were the Saturday night feature at Riverdale Country Club in Sheboygan, which was similar to Timuquana Country Club, playing mainly big band music—Glenn Miller, Harry James, Artie Shaw. During times when Joni was too pregnant with their younger children to sing, one of their two eldest daughters would fill in.
They made a TV commercial for Hubert Humphrey’s presidential campaign and for Richard Nixon’s. “I guess we were famous at one time because we were in such demand,” Joe said with a chuckle.
“We moved a lot,” Joni said. They lived, along with their three youngest children, in Hawaii for two years from 1978 to 1980. “We took Hawaii by storm and became one of the island’s best bands,” Joe said. They played for Jim Nabors for 13 weeks on his show The Jim Nabors Polynesian Extravaganza. They were on Hawaii Five-0. They knew Sally Field and many other Hollywood stars. They had made a name for themselves. “Boy, what a whirlwind life we had!” Joe said.
While still on top, they decided to retire from big band entertainment. They moved from Hawaii to Fort Myers and focused their musical talents on the church circuit. “It didn’t matter what kind of church it was, as long as they loved Jesus,” Joni said. They played for Baptist congregations, Assemblies of God, and others—Joni in choirs, sometimes Joe on drums.
In the early 90s, once their youngest was out of the house, Joe and Joni moved north to Jacksonville to be closer to family members. They desired to travel by RV and thought Jacksonville a more appropriate home base than farther south. They traveled to many interesting places in their motor home. “We wanted peace. It was a joy to go to a park, meet people, and help them,” Joe said. They’d host outdoor bible studies for other campers. They drove to various states—Colorado and Wisconsin, for example—to visit children and grandchildren living there.
Aside from a couple of years on the road, they’ve resided in their home in Ortega Farms. “We’ve both got wrinkles now, but we’re still alive!” Joe said.
Looking back on 70 years of happy marriage, Joni had some words of advice for young couples. “Remember that your vows are forever. And remember constant forgiveness. You are going to have many differences,” she said.
“I would agree to that 100%,” Joe said.
Most challenging in their 70 years for Joni were the times when the children left home. “One by one they slipped away,” she said with tears in her eyes. And she recalled 10 years ago, at her request, all six of her children returned home, without their spouses, without their children because she wanted her family of eight around the table again just like it used to be. “Not that I don’t love everybody, all my in-laws, but it was just something special I wanted. It reminded me of the times when we lived in Sheboygan where we had the prettiest house,” Joni reminisced.
Of their six children have come 17 grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren. “What we tried to do in all those years was bring up the children as best we could, and we must have done something right,” Joe said, noting that now their six children outdo each other in expressing their love and duty to their parents in their advanced age. “When it’s all said and done, they did everything they could to make us happy, until the day that we pass, they’ve done it,” Joe said.
When asked what has kept the couple together for 70 years, Joni said, “We wanted to be forever together, no matter the fights and the things that happen, the annoyances. We made a vow to God, and so we had to do it, and we wanted to do it.”
Joe agreed. “She is the love of my life, and I’m able to take care of her. I’m helping her to feel good at this age.” He turned 97 on Sept. 21, and she will be 90 on Oct. 27, days after they celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. After all this time together, they’ve found they can complete each other’s sentences, but they’ve learned that it’s best not to.
“It was a beautiful life,” Joe and Joni said simultaneously.
By Mary Wanser
Resident Community News
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