Mother honors memory of son with fundraiser for Gateway
As a child, Max McCauley was sweet-spirited, fun-loving and full of life. He always wanted to be surrounded by his posse of friends, and he was the kind of kid who couldn’t sleep at night if he thought his mom was mad at him or upset with him.
Max’s boundless energy and his craving to connect with people drew others to him. His home was the hub where all the neighborhood kids would gather, and his mother, Tricia McCauley-Cox, continually hauled carloads of children from one fun activity to the next. The two had a close relationship and were the best of friends.
But around the age of 14 or 15, something changed, according to McCauley-Cox.
“It seemed that he went to bed one night and woke up the next morning a different kid,” she said.
Soon thereafter, she found out at a visit to the pediatrician’s office that Max had begun to use marijuana. Within a short period of time, his drug use escalated and he was out of control. Years of anguish ensued – for him as well as his family. His life was characterized by long spells in the dregs of addiction interspersed by brief bits of sobriety. After more than 10 years of battling the demon of addiction, Max succumbed to his disease at the age of 27, when he died from an accidental opioid overdose.
Max’s story has become one that is all too common, but death due to drug addiction is a plight that is often underplayed because it is viewed by many as a moral failure – a byproduct of bad choices made by bad kids or a result of poor parenting. However, the American Medical Association, the American Society of Addiction Medicine and most other medical associations classify drug addiction as a primary, chronic disease of the brain. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission.
Since Max’s death in 2014, his mother has become a very vocal advocate for policies and programs to help individuals and families who are afflicted with and affected by drug addiction and alcoholism. On the first anniversary of his death she wanted to do something special in his memory. She decided to hold a fundraiser by way of teaching a yoga class, which has become an annual tradition and grown explosively each year.
This year’s event will be held Saturday, March 30 at 5 p.m. at San Marco Church, located at the corner of Lasalle Street and Naldo Road. The event will include a yoga class, live music from local musicians Tom and Natalie, and a speaker from Gateway Community Services. As in past years, all proceeds from the fundraiser go to Gateway Community Services Foundation in appreciation for what they did for Max and what they do for other addicts, alcoholics and their families.
Max’s slow march to destruction was halted when he found an oasis at Gateway Community Services, which yielded results like none of the other numerous rehabs that he cycled through; he was totally clean for 10 months. He spent that valuable time rebuilding his life and reconnecting with his family. It was a time that McCauley-Cox will always treasure.
“Over the course of 10 months I saw Max blossom back – it was like Christ raising Lazarus from the dead,” said McCauley-Cox. “He brought me the chips he earned at the meetings, he had a sponsor and he was doing well. I cannot express what it was like to have him back, fully functioning.”
The first year she held the event, about 20 people showed up and she raised $1,500 to donate to Gateway Community Services. The second year, 50 people attended, and $3,000 was raised. The third year, 80 people showed up and the dollar amount was $4,000. Last year, 100 people attended the event and $7,000 worth of donations poured in. She is hoping that this year’s event will be even bigger, so that addicts, alcoholics and their family members can receive the help they need.
Gateway Community Services is the only nonprofit medical detox facility in Northeast Florida. They also offer outreach prevention programs, residential and outpatient treatment programs for adults, residential treatment programs for adolescents and housing that provides a safe, stable living environment for men and women in recovery.
When pregnant women or women with small children come into recovery, Gateway is the only facility that allows them to be with their children. They have an onsite, five-star rated daycare where the children are looked after while their mothers attend meetings and get clean and sober. They also help women who have lost their children to the foster care system get them back and bring them there so families can be together.
“Tricia has been doing this for the last five years and her donations increase every year. Three years ago we started a capital campaign and the money she has raised has gone into our campaign to rehabilitate the facility. Before that, it went into the general fund to help clients,” said Zoe Ann Boyle, a Gateway board member. “Her fundraiser is very important because it is an intimate connection to Gateway. Her son was there and she does what she does out of gratitude and love for the care that was provided there. It’s not just somebody writing a check – it’s a mission to do this to honor his memory.”
Max’s absence is painful for McCauley-Cox, but she makes every effort to channel that pain into something positive by trying to help other families avoid the heartache and devastation that comes along with the chronic disease of drug addiction.
“If one kid’s life can be saved, if one parent can get in there and keep their family together, if we have one success story, that’s enough for me today,” she said.
By Kandace Lankford
Resident Community News
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