I am exceedingly grateful for the advice I’ve gotten over the years – it’s really shaped my life and given me a good foundation for making smart moves.
The advice or mantras I like the most can be found taped to my kitchen cabinet. They are fading DIY poster décor I made long ago and they are everything to me, and hopefully our children. Here is a sampling:
- “Connection not perfection”. – Unknown
- “Be interested over interesting.” – Unknown
- “RASA: Receive, appreciate, summarize, ask.” – Julian Treasure
- “I am not this hair I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within.” – Rumi
Here are a few more I’ve liked and collected in my noggin over the years:
“Don’t be ugly” – Unknown. This phrase was well documented by some Southern folk art my dad displayed next to an Elvis lamp (!) at his home in Holly Springs, Miss. Now I am the lucky owner of it. I think it’s perfect. Short and sweet: Don’t be ugly and definitely don’t be ugly in my house, capiche? He had a similar piece that bears the warning, “Be Nice or Leave.” We have that up near the front door of our cabin. This is good advice for anyone.
“Write your story or lede like you are at a bus stop and the bus is approaching and you have to tell someone the gist of your story before the bus comes.” – Beth Zacharias Hunt, my professional mentor and longtime American City Business Journals editor who trained me up at the Austin Business Journal long ago. This is professional and personal advice meaning, just do it; whether you’re writing or presenting or having a conversation, just spit it out quickly without hemming and hawing over it because the first things out of your mouth generally are the most important and “newsworthy.” She also told me it’s helpful to think about how you would share a news story in a social setting, like at a cocktail party, because that helps bring the highlights to the forefront and digs up what is most compelling/entertaining about the information.
“Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.” – Gen. James “Jimmy” Doolittle, an American military general and aviation pioneer who received the Medal of Honor for his raid on Japan (The Doolittle Raid) during World War II. I don’t think Gen. Doolittle made this ditty up. But he did share it with my brother and me live and in-person in1984 at my great aunt and uncle M.E. and Ski York’s house. Ski was a fellow raider and Gen. Doolittle would come to San Antonio to party with them from time to time. On that particular occasion, my parents dressed us up, hauled our cookies over to the house and sat us down individually on the couch next to Gen. Doolittle to absorb some advice. To stand for something is, indeed, good advice.
“Comparisons are odious” and “What did you learn from that experience?” – David B. Person, my awesome dad. I think the first one is a line from Shakespeare, so it’s not original to David Bob Person the Great. But I agree, comparisons are stupid, and everyone – on the line and off – is doing it but we would all be happier if we would JUST STOP DOING IT, for the love. The other bit he would ask of me every time I stepped into something hard, or painful or wrong. He would listen and console me in my frustrations, but those exchanges always ended in a question: What did you learn from that experience? This taught me to learn everything I could from life’s challenges. That’s where the good comes. In fact, as I’m typing this, I got a text from my daughter following a string of big life boos in which she emphasized, “Gotta get through all the bad to find the good.” Kinda the same sentiment.
“Don’t dwell on it. The more attention you pay it the worse it will hurt, feel or manifest.” Bobbie Ann Harper Person, my beautiful mother. She was definitely a mind-over-matter kind of gal, and she is spot on here. Just like Donnie Brasco said, “Forget about it.”
Which leads me to some other unattributed life advice that has helped me get through the yucks: “Learn from your mistakes;” “There are no wrong decisions just new opportunities;” “Give it to God;” and my personal favorite, “Jesus take the wheel.”
I asked ChatGPT for 10 pieces of timely advice and they were actually so good and so absolutely true, that it would be a disservice not to share them far and wide, even if it is artificial intelligence. Several of them, I believe, are kitchen cabinet taped home-job sign-worthy. Enjoy, and if you disagree with the sentiment, take it up with the AI interwebs:
- Prioritize Your Health: “Your health is your wealth.”
- Invest in Relationships: “Surround yourself with people who lift you up.”
- Never Stop Learning: “Knowledge is power.”
- Live Within Your Means: “Don’t spend more than you earn.”
- Be Present: “The past is gone, the future is uncertain, but the present is a gift.”
- Set Clear Goals and Work Toward Them: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
- Treat Others with Kindness and Respect: “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”
- Embrace Failure as a Lesson: “Fail forward.”
- Take Responsibility for Your Life: “You are responsible for your happiness.”
- Find Your Purpose and Live Authentically: “Be true to yourself.”
Bravo, AI. Bravo! These tidbits may not be from a famous decorated combat aviator or an awesome dad or newspaper editor, but they are words to live by for sure! Advice is like an opinion or an a-hole – everybody has one. But it’s a worthy exercise to tune in to the people you respect and love, absorb their direction, example or instruction and look for ways to implement their takeaway tenets into your own life.
Susanna Barton has gotten lots of practical advice over the years and all have been helpful with the exception of “Stop, drop and roll.” A Granada resident, Barton has written professionally for The Jacksonville Business Journal, The Resident and The Bolles School. She currently manages an online community called Grand Plans, which encourages healthy conversations about aging and preparing for it on www.mygrandplans.com.
